Cuckolding gay
Dan Savage’s New Learn on Gay Cuckolding and Infidelity Fantasies Has Several Surprises
A study of 580 gay men recently conducted by gay sex columnist and activist Dan Savage and two other psychologists — David Ley and Justin Lehmiller — has shown that male same-sex couples are increasingly indulging in cuckolding fantasies (that is, sexual fantasies in which a person is humiliated and aroused by the idea of their partner fucking another person.) However, gay cuckolding fantasies differ from unbent men’s.
The three men conducted the study as part of Lehmiller’s upcoming novel Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help Upgrade Your Sex Life. Lehmiller initially studied thousands of Americans and found 58% of men and nearly a third of women have cuckolding fantasies.
Savage says he has only recently begun to receive lgbtq+ inquiries about cuckolding even though he’s written his advice column since 1991. Savage’s research with the psychologists revealed that interracial and BDSM themes don’t appear as often among gay men.
According to Lehmiller, heterosexual men find cuckolding arousing because letting other men fuck your female pa
Dan* became a cuck by accident when he discovered that his boyfriend had cheated on him. “As painful and unpleasant as the experience was, there were also some undeniable feelings of lust and curiosity,” he tells me.
Afterwards, Dan found himself trying to recreate the whole scenario in his head, imagining how they would have met, what they would have spoken about, what positions they may have had sex in. “That curiosity rapidly morphed into sexual gratification,” he explains, “and as our relationship began to establish itself in non-monogamous ways, I plucked up the confidence to be there and watch it unfold. I derive enormous sexual gratification from knowing that my boyfriend is desired by someone else.”
Stories of cuckolding have a long cultural history. Consider of Chaucer and Shakespeare; Tolstoy and Flaubert; Les Dennis, Amanda Holden and Neil Morrissey. However, it wasn’t until the prior 2000s that people really started wanking en-masse to the idea of women cheating on their hapless husbands (and it has, traditionally, been about women). What began as a heterosexual fetish is now increasingly common among same-sex attracted men, both in porn an
During a recent podcast, I interviewed Justin Lehmiller, founder and editor of Sex and Psychology, a website that receives several million page views a year. Dr. Lehmiller's research focuses on topics including casual sex, sexual fantasy, sexual health, and friends with benefits. His latest manual is Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Facilitate You Improve Your Sex Life.
Here is an excerpt from the interview:
I’d enjoy to talk about your research on cuckolding. Will you describe it?
Cuckolding essentially is a sexual interest where somebody is turned on, or they derive arousal from watching their partner have sex with somebody else. Cuckolding could involve any number of gender and sexual orientation combinations.
Isn’t this considered a three-way?
In a threesome, three partners are all sexually interacting. In a cuckolding scenario, there are three people, but they are not all mutually involved participants in the sexual task. The cuckold is the person who is watching.
I call it eroticized cheating—the eroticizing of watching your mate with someone else even though you know about it. Is that right?
For some people, it may be. For e
Wemightthink that no one likes to be cheated on, but the truth is, some do! And accept it or not, it gets them off!
In the universe of sexual fantasy, cuckolding -- that is, generally speaking, watching while one's wife or partner has sex with another man, especially one with a larger penis -- is nothing novel. In fact, the phrase has been around for centuries. Traditionally it was only applied to the husband of an adulterous wife. Today it means a lot more.
I've written in the past about straight men having sex with other men in cuckold scenes with a woman present, and loving it. It can be intricately connected to feelings of shame and humiliation for the cuckold, which the cuckolded companion finds highly pleasurable and erotically arousing in the fantasy.
Other variations comprise "footcuck," where the cuckold is a foot slave to her and the man she's having sex with. Often, when his partner finds a "bull" and brings him dwelling to have sex, the cuckold is forced to get both of them sexually aroused with his mouth and/or hands and watch and often even clean them up afterward.
Sometimes the cuckold masturbates while watching, other times he is tied, gagged and forced to
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